APPROACH DATING - Which Dating Site Should I Pick

Its amazing how technology is changing the way we do things. It changed our lifestyles to great extent. It also gave us some or rather lots of problems. R. Buckminster Fuller said “Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reason“. To some extent I would agree with him, but to the fact that technology changed the way we meet great people, who we might end up dating and also marrying makes me to disagree with him at least on this point.

For many of us dating sites are the best things that happened for a long time. Online dating has come a long way from 1986 when matchmaker.com was launched to today when we all are spoilt rotten with choices.

In times today when there are general dating sites, sites specific to ethnicity, religion, continent, hobbies, interests etc dating online becomes more easy. In this article I will give a brief introduction of a few dating sites. Read on.

Americansingles.com

With the catch phrase ‘For love and romance’, American singles is one of the popular dating sites.You can perform many of the functions such as responding to emails and searching for other members that the other online dating sites require you to pay for as an unpaid member. There are cool services like You are given the ability to see who you’ve viewed in the past, who has viewed you, who you have hot listed, who has hot listed you, who you have “teased”, who has “teased” you, and so on.

Matchmaker.com

Like I said earlier, matchmaker was the first dating site started in 1986. It was a tremendous success and brought thousands upon thousands of people together.

This site is availaible only in USA . P.S. - Join only if you are 25 or above as it has great profiles …….. Join now for free and search thousands of profiles of yourchoice

Perfectmatch.com

Perfectmatch.com is an  online dating and relationship service founded in 2003. The company offers the Duet Total Compatibility System (Duet), co-developed by Seattle relationship expert,  Dr. Pepper Schwartz who based Duet on more than 30 years of research. The Duet Total Compatibility System analyzes takes into account each member’s Personality, Values and Ideals, Life and Lovestyle and Preferences to identify and help them find the person right for them. perfect match has also done lots of collaborations with different film copanies and production houses. They are featured in movies as well as hit television series. Click below to join it now for free

Blacksingles.com

This is again a specialized site of course anyone can join.This is one of the best African American personals site on the internet. This site gives its members the tools to allow them to easily search through detailed profiles, instant message with friends and chat with other online African Americans. The site also has no annoying and unwanted advertisements coming your way.

Christiansingles.com

As the name itself suggests this site is for single christians of any denomination. The tagline on the home page is- We believe in committed christian single relationships leading to marriage. Founded in 1995 it’s the only international Christian dating site for “marriage minded christians”.

Bbwpersonalsplus.com

This site is dedicated for creating a safe and comfortable community for Big Beautiful Women and their admirers. There are chat rooms, instant messenger, message boards, and photos along with many other great features. The membership is valid in USA and Canada

So these were a few top sites. So what are you waiting for go on sign up and find your love 4 life.

ONLINE DATING A SCAM OR REALITY

Situation 1 – Linda and Patrick sign up to an online dating site. One because of pressure from her friends and the other just for some fun. Anyways, they get connected online and within months of virtual and real hookups, they are married ! Linda and Patrick have just one thing to say – God Bless Dating Sites !!

Situation 2 – Sonia in America meets this fantabulous guy from Philippines. Everything was just great to the extent that she silently was even toying with the idea of maybe marrying him. To her idea of meeting up, the guy let out the story of how poor he was and blah blah blah and blah. Like a lot of people in the world sonia believes this person and sends him some money, which would cover part of his ticket to Miami through western union. The wait began. No news of the “guy” till date.

They say there is always two sides of a story or maybe more. Same goes for online dating. There are a lot of Lindas and Patricks out there who have had a pleasant experiences. Then there is also the Sonias, the other side of online dating, the ugly but definitely a real side. In today’s world where the technology is both a bane and boon, online dating, its fruit is a boon and also its problem child. Let me make it clear, I am not trying to brand that online banking is bad, what I am trying to say is we must me very prudent and cautious about it.

Lets now  look at a few pointers which might help us know a scam.

• The conversation tone can help to spot a scam. If the person you are chatting with is getting a lot of information about you and is talking about himself, there is a good chance that it could be a scam
• Appropriate responses is what you should look out for. If you feel the responses are kind of scriptes and is being copy pasted, then you can bet it’s a scam.
• Being asked to either cash someone’s check or money order for them, or being asked outright for money. The story varies somewhat with each internet dating scam, but the intention remains the same: robbing you of your hard earned cash.
• Check the location of the person in the profile and compare it with what the person is telling you the location. If it’s listed local and the person tells you of someother country, I would say it smells a dead rat.
• Last of course is the profile with the gorgeous babe smiling at you. It is not uncommon to use stolen photos as traps to draw in individuals. Normally they too don’t come back on many of your questions, or have a postponement in getting back. This is likely since these fraudsters work on many people at one time.

I would like to advice you also a few ways to have a safe online dating.

1. 1. Be conservative while dating. Never believe what the other person has to say. Play along and reply smartly, but don’t carry too far so as to scare a genuine candidate.
   2. Anyone can get the photo of any handsome guy or a gal and put it in their profile (not legally though), and pretend that it’s him. So please don’t fall for it.
   3. Create a sensible profile. Never divulge your contact details.

Internet dating scam is a reality which we all netizens must be aware of. Its not something we can say that it can never happen to us. Caution and shrewdness is the catchword. So have a happy hunting. ADIOS

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and everybody else. I know that you have all read a hundred and one plus one articles on what you must do and not do when your on a date. So why not read another ! I am sure many of you must be PhDs in this but there is always scope for improvement right? Alrighty then, let me tell you that of course I cant include everything in this article, but then I will try to put in pointers which I personally feel would be good. Read on

• The date that you plan should be flexible. As a guy make sure if you plan the date, give the girl the choice of time, place, food etc. it is always safe to have choices cause you never know what the girl might like or not.

*   Set the time limit for the date in advance just to avoid the stress to end the date or even for the situation where you might want to end it and run away !

• Recently an advertisement whch came out assured me with all earnesty that today I am judged by my clothes. Though I beg to differ, even then for a date I would say one must dress appropriately. No sweatshirts and kinds please. The date should feel that you did put some effort into it.

*   For the gentlemen I would like to start with DO NOT GET LATE ! Many ladies on the contrary believe that it’s their prerogative to be late. Well that’s okay, but it’s an absolute no no for a guy. Be on time. You may feel it’s better to be a few minutes late so you don’t feel silly waiting for your date, but that just means your date will be waiting for you. Treat your date nice by showing him or her the respect they deserve. Plan ahead, leave early, and account for any possible delays in traffic. Once more just to make sure you got it – Do be on time

• Be confident of yourself. Make sure to make eye contact with your date, of course you can choose not too if the date gives you reasons too ! ask any psychologist, keeping an eye contact with a person is good because the person feels that you are giving him/her attention.

*   For the guys, even if your date looks like a toad from the city sewage, please don’t look at other women’s assets(discreetly, go ahead!!). you wouldn’t want the date noticing you ogling at others.  

• Now that you are on the date remember that its all about you and the girl/boy. All other things are disturbances unless of course you want it 2 be there !! That little wonder of science we call cell phone must not find its way to your ear as long as your with your date. I mean try to avoid it, especially on a first date. It’s plain rude to the person your with if you make your cell phone your body part. If it’s a call that needs to be attended to, the best thing to do is to put it voicemail.

• So that cell phone ain’t  disturbing no one at the moment. Buddy you have no choice but to talk to the person. One must follow the good old advice that conversation must be a 50-50 % affair between two people. Don’t monopolize the conversation. Ask questions to give your date a chance to talk so you can both find out about each other. While you are trying to get to know your date, you aren’t there to drill them for every detail of their life.

• During the conversation ask meaningful and appropriate questions. Definitely lets all endeavor to keep the exes out of the equation please. If it’s the first date also keep in mind that it should be like auditioning for the future. So maybe one should run through what you might like to talk about before the date.

• Now here is a point which for some of you would be debatable. When you are in conversation do not start boasting about yourself. No matter how much it pleases ones years its not good. Last thing you want is the person to think that you are a pompous a**.

• Do be a good listener. When on the date give your date chances to speak their mind. It serves a lot of purposes. You get to know what kind of a person your date is, you get to understand what ticks the person and most importantly you know his intentions in a relationship.

• Do be nice. Let there be positivity from your side. Compliment him/her on the clothes or anything which u liked. It also shows your date that you’re taking notice of him and you appreciate him.

• Don’t try to pretend to be someone other than yourself. If you’re a meat eating carnivore and she a vegan (god I hate it), make sure that she comes to know. Same goes for the smoking and drinking.

*   While eating make sure that you are eating like a human being and not like you would eat like a cow, chewing with your mouth open. Maintain basic etiquettes.

• If in a restaurant, make sure you don’t drink excessively. Hold that drink till you reach home and drink to glory if the date went bad!!!!

• Lets assume that your date is going bad because of the other person. Please don’t make it clear to the person unless he actually deserves it being told to him. Diplomacy is indeed a virtue you would like to adopt here, unless you have reasons to otherwise.

*   This might sound same as the above but read it out. Do not complain - This   may be technically part of tip three, but it deserves a separate heading. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t tell him that something is wrong or something makes you uncomfortable. The way you phrase it and the tone you use is important here. ‘Venting’, like we do with our girl friends, is not going to go over well with him since he’ll probably misinterpret it. Grin and bear it then tell him after the date in calm, reasoned tones your problem. Trust me, he’ll understand and he’ll try to make it up to you.

* So the dates over and those awkward moments come when your not decided on what to do. My suggestion is to make it very clear whether you would like to do it again or not. Never keep your date hanging.

* Okay this point may not be technically part of the article but still I think it needs to be written. If you liked the girl/guy and you would like to go out again, I would say to wait for a couple of days. If the call never comes, maybe its because  the guy is tongue tied. Give the call and talk about how good the date went. I am sure if the guy is interested he would ask you for another.

• Last but not the least do enjoy the date. Its after all just a date not a betrothal. Relax and have fun, don’t be hyper critical. Show the date the real side of you. Is the person likes you so be it, if not so be it again. If you enjoy the date the guy/gal would indeed notice and also if you don’t enjoy.

If you have someone in mind whom you want to date, then buddy lets make sure we get the first part of it- THE ASKING OUT right. Asking out these days is no longer just the prerogative of the gentlemen but the ladies too are catching up. YIPEE!!! For more suggestions on this, as to how to go about. Read on…..

CLEAR VISION

First get it clear in your head a few things like what are your objectives or what do you seek in the relationship you hope to get into. Is it a ‘Wham Bam Thank You Maam’ or something deeper.(no pun intended!!!). Its very important because this sets the whole tone, your vision is clear so you go about in such a way and with a corresponding enthusiasm level, which could make the other person also see it.

BE READY

You heard practice makes you perfect? I say in this scenario practice might not make you perfect, but it could be the difference between your getting the date or not. So make sure you ready with what you would be going to tell the girl. The last thing you would want is to stutter and also the confidence could also work in your favor.

SPACE FOR SUCCESS

Make sure that you asking the person out, does not create an environment of pressure for him/her. Let them take their time to decide. They should definitely not feel trapped in saying a yes, unless that’s what you want !! if the person takes the decision out of her own will, then it will not seem like an obligation to you which she is fulfilling. This also cancels out any regret or bitterness on either side in the future, if things don’t work out.

MILLION DOLLAR SMILE

Might well be the time buddy to clean your whites and flash that million dollar smile. I for sure, do believe that a grin is what is needed to win, the date. 99 out of hundred there is the chance that a person would smile back if you do. So I would say it’s a good way to start the proceedings,  on a positive note.

PLAN B

Imagine going to a restaurant and finding out that there is no choice !! Same way my friend give the person you asking out, alternative choices of date and the place. It should be such that is convenient to both of you. Your plans should always be flexible, a plan B should always be there.

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TIMING.

That word should be enough, but I would still say a few words. Make sure it’s the right time to ask someone out. You sure wouldn’t want to ask when she is pissed about something, or still fresh from a breakup. No sir. No use because you yourself know the answer before asking. As captain Jack Sparrow would say, ‘wait for the opportune moment’.

NO BEER MY DEAR

For heavens sake do not and I repeat do not, Drink up to get the courage to ask that angel out. She would definitely certify you as AA material !! its basically would mean that you are not confident or let me go a step further and say- You don’t have the ba**s.

‘NO’ IS NOT THE END

Finally do not take it personal if the person you asked out says no. It’s a real possibility, mind it. Laugh it out, and move on. Give the person time maybe she might think about it and give you an affirmative later. It should look like that your life has more than that person, it might even increase your market value !!

All The Best

Oh boy I hope this is something which you folks would not have to face frequently. A bad date is something which can happen with the best of us. lLife is funny isn’t it and we all need to have a contingency plans. So read on how to handle bad dates and to come out without anyone getting hurt………..

FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED

Okay you have figured it out that the date is just not going the way you planned, you could use the tried and tested method of texting your friend to give you a ring with any XYZ emergency. Or you could go to the washroom, call up your trusted friend and ask him/her to give you a call in a while with an emergency Boy does this work. Excuse yourself, don’t wait to hear pleadings or anything and bolt for your life.

GO FOR IT

When it comes to paying the bill, the girl might insist to pay pressingly. This could be sign of her even acknowledging that this was a bad date from which she would like to cut off all ties. Submit to her wishes after some resistance. Make a big show that you actually let her pay. Be at your chivalrous best, opening doors, getting the coat etc. its always fun playing around.

CUT THE CRAP

No deep throat kissing and definitely no lovey dovey talk. A peck on the cheek and you are good to run for that taxi. You would not like to extend your miseries staying a minute more than required. Its no use wasting precious time on something which is not going right. It’s a waste of your time on the other hand it could also give false hope to the other person.

DIPLOMACY

For those who don’t like pretending, don’t go on and tell your date how you hated the evening instead let the thing be. Remain diplomatic ie. Implying that it wasn’t the way you would have wanted the things to go. The date might not have gone wrong because of the other person, but maybe of no fault of either of you. Situations like this it would be unfair to put blame on someone for something they had no hand in.

NO TOMMOROW

No false hopes for the future, if you truly did feel that the date was not good, don’t make any promises for the future. People would really appreciate the truth than being left to hang on false promises.

NO FRIENDS IN HERE

Do not offer friendship in most such circumstances, because your dating the person was not on the basis of friendship but because hormonally charged people had romance or sex on mind! If friendship happens with time so be it. I know cases in which people have become best of friends. Offering friendship for a bad date is more like patronizing the person, which could in turn piss the person more.

EASY GOING

Keep things easy and relaxed. Don’t take initiatives and let things happen the way they are happening. Like they say move on with the drift. Let it roll and get it over than putting extra effort into it.

All the best………

Okay what must one wear for the big day. We live in times when we are judged by the first impression that we make, its just that the impression in question is our clothes. Pretty sad I would say, but then that’s life. So now that its firmly established that what we wear would make a heck lot of difference. Read on this general guidelines…

INTROSPECTION -  Hmmmm pretty heavy word. Believe me when I say it’s the key for your dressing success. Know what do you look good in, try to remember the compliments that you would have surely received for a particular dress, hairdo or even some color that you had previously worn. Maybe you need to get that look again, and I would say that’s a start…………..



FIT CLOTHES -  okay now that the dress or ensemble has been decided upon, make sure its not torn or worn out. Guys make sure its not hugging your crotch and neither its sweeping the streets cause the city council has appointed people for that. The dress should be clean, it ads up.

PERFUME ADVISORY – Okay so you got that Victoria Secrets perfume or that Calvin Klein. It sure doesn’t mean that you have earned the right to smell the living daylights out of each other !! Have mercy and use the above for its purpose only. Excess could be not taken kindly by your date. Some might even go to the extent of twitching their nose to give you the hint.

OCASSION DRESSING – Well, now this is important, lets say the girl has asked you out to this fancy joint were you are supposed to come in a jacket and tie, you know. You on the other hand come all decked up in your Denims, the lady I think would not be impressed. What say? Know the dress code to where you are going. It should not be sloppy. Your dressing means a lot to your date cause for the evening she is going to be seen with you.

SUBTLE -  Do not go overboard with your outfit and your look on a whole. Maybe the whole excitement could make you do things so that you might now look all set apart in a freakish way. Now we don’t want that happening do we. Please make a calm evaluation of that what you are wearing, so that your date might not try end up trying to hid from YOU. Be dressed in something that you have worn before and you have been complimented for it.

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ASK AND FIND – Ladies, here is a thought, Just get it from the horses’ mouth of how he would like to see you. Ask for his favorite colour or the type of dress or anything. Sure that would bring a smile on his face. Guys really like things their way. You wearing what they like would make them really happy about the fact that you actually put an effort.

LET IT SHOW – In he end I would like to say that it should look like that you actually did put effort into the whole idea of getting ready. It would do a world of good for your date to feel that you took that extra effort to look good for him/her.

What is life without flirting? What is an evening at a party without you indulging in playful games of stolen glances and gestures? Flirting is something which is kind of in us all, its just that different people have different levels of skills at it. Flirting can be harmful when it threatens fidelity but it can also be sexy and bring people closer together.

So in this article I am going give you some pointers on flirting. The caption might be flirting rules but I do believe that there are no hard and fast rules but its all about improvisations on basic flirting common sense. Bottom line is that flirting should be fun, is fun. Don’t take it too seriously.

The timing of flirting should be right. In the right circumstances it is a powerful tool especially against the unwary. In the wrong circumstances it could even get you fired. I know a guy, he actually flirted with this girl who was at her grand dad’s funeral. I mean common flirting with your boss could still be fun at some level. But at a funeral ….. like i said these are not rules but more of guidelines ! So Go tiger

The eye they say is the most powerful and influential part of the human body. Eyes convey a lot of emotions. It can cause a smile on someone’s phase and it can also freeze that smile. The best approach in getting someone’s attention is simple. If you see something you like, send a series of powerful eye signals. If you look long enough, you’re bound to get a response. Assume that you do get a response; remember that staring for long becomes rude.

The contact is made, if returned a couple of times, I would say go ahead. For men complimenting the lady would be a great way to begin a conversation. Compliment her style, smile or anything which you really liked. Likewise it works real well for ladies to stroke the guys ego by complimenting his suit, tie and I have also heard if the guy has a good voice you could compliment that.

A tried and tested, result yielding flirting device is mirroring. I am sure you guy all know about it. People mirror each other’s body language – gestures, voice volume, posture, etc when they are attracted. Its subtleness personified. What you gota do is that you must copy the actions of the person who you are flirting with. It may feel strange, but believe me it creates kind of a bond.

Overt comments regarding a woman’s body parts are always inappropriate. Things like overtly staring at her ass(ets) are not advisable. There is a gulf between flirting and unwanted sexual advances so beware.

Some say that during the game of flirting on should let the man be a man. For a woman to assume the man’s role is not just right but could also hurt the male ego. (Not my views!) There is another group of ladies and men who think that it is not a problem that women take the lead. As far as I am concerned it should not be a one way street.

Remember that most flirting is all in good fun and just a way to meet new people. Most folks you flirt with you’ll never even talk to again. So be prepared if you get a cold shoulder. Who cares , there are loads of guys and gals out there. Right? Don’t act like a desperado in such situations just laugh it off (but it hurts man!)

So these are a few basic tips for you that I have. Like to end bye quoting the old proverb – “no pain no gain”. In this context it would be no fish without fishing ! so go out there and have a blast .

WHY DO PEOPLE D’ONT GET A DATE

This article that you are about to read about deals with a topic that cannot be generalized and written about because its very individual and varies from person to person. So I talked to a number of people. People just like you whom you meet everyday. I got some strange and some reasonable views from them. Some of these points might be extreme and unreasonable, but then there are people who think so.So here it is why people just like you who think that why don’t people get a date.


LACK OF CONFIDENCE

Doesn’t have the b***s – Yup, this of course is kind of believable. Specifically for a guy this is true. We live in times where both a guy and the girl ask each other out. But there are people who think that it’s the guy’s responsibility to take initiative. There are guys who might be shy for various of reasons. Maybe they lack confidence, maybe the fear of rejection or anything for that matter. These things can and do stop a guy to ask the girl he is interested in for a date.

UNDERESTIMATION OF ONE’S POTENTIAL

I know this point is pretty hard on girls, but then it appears that a lot of people especially girls themselves feel that if the girl is not pretty then she would surely not get a date. Maybe its because its installed in the society that we live in that the girl has to be pretty and with the guys its not that important. I do beg to differ and would like to say that there is always someone out there for everybody.

LACK OF PERSONALITY

Personality they say is most important in a person. Someone once told me that even if a person wears the top brands but has no personality then its of no use wearing that vulgarly expensive dress, on the other hand if a person has a personality he can carry anything. I believe its pretty much right. So if a person does not have a good personality, I mean a complete dud then the person may have a problem getting date.

DRESSING SENSE

This point may sound contradictory to the previous point, but actually its not. A persons dressing sense is as important as his/her personality. I don’t mean that you gotta go splash for Armani and Versace, what I meant is that the clothes should be clean, pressed and appropriate. You need to put some effort in dressin for the date, so that the person feels good that you cared to look good. Sloppy dressing definitely out. Its okay for your partner to see you looking like an ogre when you have gotten into the relationship, but till then its definitely would be good to look smart.

SEXISM - NOT REALLY!!!

This was pretty funny when women specially told me that they would like the guy to pay on the first day. Really is a paradox. I pulled their leg by asking about whatever happened to gender equality and all. I was told that, equality and all is good but still on the first date the guy must pay. So guys make sure you have a reputation of paying the tab on the date, atleast the first.

BOSSING IT AROUND

Being possessive and bossy during the date is not the best thing for a guy to do. Your date must feel no pressure or feel trapped in your company. Cause if she does then I bet that you aint getting a second innings with her. Also most probably she might even spread the word about you as much as she can. Respect her place and her rights as an individual

I AM TO BLAME

The last point I want to put across that a reaon why a person does not get a date is that the person himself/herself does not want to date. This lack of date is self induced date drought. The reason could be as varied as bad past experiences, loner, loss of someone close etc.

There could be any number of reasons for a person not getting a date. Its not much of a job though to get one. Enjoy

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